when it's a friend online, unfortunately i find- there is not much you can do. I'm a guy and 14 and i can say- while i don't get abused and everyone who experiences it, experiences depression differently. personally a lot of things- small will upset me- i'm just that- already miserable. I'll have periods where i'll hurt myself- and periods where i'll nearly end it.

And buddy- i actually also have a friend that is like this. venting to me when it's night for me. thinks they are annoying when- they aren't. it really hurts. like a lot.

Just be there for her- and hope for the best for her.

not everyone makes it. just try to make the days not hurt.

u can't do much when it's over an internet connection. so try ur best.


idk why but- an example of depression for me at least is now i'm not in a good mood after writing. 😔


i wish u luck

Be there for them, and if they need to vent let them
but seriously, if there parents are actually abusive in a physical sense, they need to call someone
if it’s not that serious then maybe not

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There's plenty of advice saying to go to the professionals on here already, so I'm going to skip right pas that. Just try and be there for her, listen to what she has to say and understand her. You cannot solve the problems she sees, but you can comfort her and help her stay a little more positive than she would be without you. And sometimes venting is just really nice and relieving. You might be doing more for her than you realize :P

(P.S. This is by no means professional advice.)

I would advise you to read about depression so you understand how complicated the situation is and how much or little you can actually do.

In english "depression" is used for two different things:
There is a mood that's called depression which is a normal temporary reaction to life events and also is a symptom of some physical diseases meaning it will vanish someday.
And there is the major depressive disorder which is an actual mental disorder (unlike the mood that's called depression) which you can do very little about. Judging by how many ways of treatment there are I get the impression not even the psychiatrists and psychoanalysts know what exactly they're doing. Medical treatment always plays a part, though, so that seems to kinda work. It looks like there's a ton of research yet to be done.


What I found personally is that there is an emotional and a cognitive depression:

You can get into cognitive depression very easily by asking yourself what the meaning of life is and end up concluding that everything is meaningless. But you can get out of it just as easily by concluding further that since nothing is that important you can try pretty much everything and just use the few years you've got to explore the Earth (this also is called optimistic nihilism).
So, getting into and out of cognitive depression works by shifting your point of view and is quite rational.

Emotional depression, on the other hand, is irrational and can't be solved by words or trains of thought. I think people who are emotionally depressed need someone close to them they can turn to meaning you can't do very much via the internet because they need the proximity to a real person. I think this is what your friend needs. Apparently there's nobody in her environment she can safely turn to so she depends on you to have some kind of emotional connection but it's not solving her depression entirely (because you are far away) it only makes it less bad if that makes sense.


I'm no expert on this matter at all, this is just what I could gather from reading a little and from my experiences. I might be very wrong xD

Does she play minecraft? Genuinely! Play minecraft with her! It's fun!

just dont be depressed lmfao

What a long day you had.. have fun!

um...
i'm not love doctor but..
just say "i love you"

I understand your struggle, I go through it daily, But is PMC really the right place to talk about it? Go somewhere else, Like a forum for mental health or something like that.

[deleted]

maybe call the cops or something
im not an english expert so i dont really know about CPS but
i mean where i live there is this police system thing that are made for kids bcuz of their parents hurting their children
some parents even KILL here
idk if that helped

I would recommend calling CPS for her. If her parents are abusive and aren't helping her situation in any way, she needs some intervention. CPS or another hotline, maybe getting her to go to a relatives house. That's all I can suggest.

I really wish I had something meaningful to say, something to recommend... but apart from the endless adage I've seen here- "try to help her"- I've got nothing. Depression is awful. And if her parents are actually abusive, then CPS would be the logical next step.

And while this sounds absolutely horrible, you've only met her online, and she could be narcissistically trying to get attention for an entirely separate reason. Again, I'm not trying to say this is actually what's going on, but I've learned never to (fully) trust someone I've only talked to online.

I assume you've already done this, but try talking over a VC or in some other way. Internet contact is way shakier than just, you know, talking it out.

Random comment, music is very fun to play (i mean learning to play an instrument)

First off all, you need to identify why her parents are abusive, since theres a chance it might be because of exams or something like that. The prime reason someone usually gets into depression is, because they just do nothing. Even if you do something boring, as long as you divert your attention and focus depression should start to occur less. She might want to consider moving out if she is not happy with her parents, but it will be very hard to get used to earning your own money and doing other house chores. Or she can just sign to a dorm.

Just be there for her, idk. I do have a friend girl and she deal with stuff like that too. i met her on discord when i was 15 and she is also my schoolmates. She had no friends and have depression until now. But a lot of things have change since then like she now have more friends than she used to and just more happy overall. All i can say is just be the shoulder for her to cry on to and make her happy. That's really all u can do because u are just 14. And also don't expect that she would love u back if u do like her. idk about this bit, it might just be me :(

I'm currently going through depression, and it sucks. I often mask from myself, which means I don't know what I'm feeling often at times and I think I'm full of joy. Turns out, I've had depression for 3 months.

Advice for you and her:
Maybe if she has some friends you know, then you guys can get together on a video chat with her. You can tell some jokes, play mc, stuff like that.
Here's some advice that I also learned from Ted Ed: Don't compare depression to a time you were depressed. it only will hurt her into feeling down she hasn't cheered up.
The same goes for saying "cheer up." She'll also feel down on herself.
Ask her for suicidal thoughts. Her safety is her number one priority as her friend.
If she has any, don't just say "Well don't do it!" Because then she'll think she can't trust you and will push you away. You only feel more alone (I know this from experience :/)
Anxiety could also play a role. As a gifted person who's had anxiety their entire life, I can understand that depression only gets worse.

So I hope I could help! Let me know how things go :)

Only way you can stop depression is firstly to change your life for the better. Now seeing as you and your friend are both so young I apricate that isn't easy as you have no real control over your life; so you cant change your job, or move house... But, you can do simple things like exercise more (very important as endorphins make you happy and using up your energy will also help you sleep at night and combat insomnia), socialise more, talk to new people, pursue new hobbies, try new things.

Secondly you need to change your perceptions of the world. Instead of twisting everything in your mind into a negative thing, start looking at things from a positive perspective. Depression is all in the mind. Change your thinking and perspective and things start to look a lot better.

For example: Instead of thinking "life sucks & I want out", you could be thinking "life is a bit poo right now, but I am only 14 and I have my whole life a head of me."

It took me more than a decade to snap out of it, and it's not going to happen over night. Changing the way you think is very difficult and it will take a long long time.

Also please consider this. Life has it's ups and downs, and if it wasn't for the downs we wouldn't have the ups. If you have never felt depression, that dark horrible helpless pit of despair, then when things are good how could you possibly know they were good because you would have nothing to compare and measure your happiness by? You need to experience these lows in life just to know what absolute happiness is.

"Things will get better." Now I used to hate being told that when I was sad, its much like "cheer up", but I'm telling you - they really do.



EDIT

Thirdly, do yourself a massive favour and quit all social media. No facebook, no instagram, absolutely no tiktok (evidently from the bizzare narcissistic content on there tiktok has massive implications on mental health), and when you are old enough no dating apps (or meat markets as I call them). Start living in reality and break all those nasty addictions. Social media has a lot to answer for with regards to the mental health of young people. Its making you miserable and distracting you from the non digital reality - the real world.

make her a datapack that gives her superpowers!

yo muny